


Fixing You

by GinnyLily



Series: Dealing (A Dean Winchester Fanfiction) [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:50:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7149692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyLily/pseuds/GinnyLily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean can't lose her again. Not without losing himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fixing You

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, here is the “extra chapter”, a little one-shot from Dean's perspective. You can read it without having read Dealing. However, if you want to read Dealing as well, I recommend you finish that first, since this one-shot contains spoilers for chapters 8 and 9.   
> As always a big thanks to my beta readingravenclaw.tumblr.com ♥

Dean shoots but the ghoul is faster. It grabs the gun from him and throws it to the ground. When he tries to behead it, the machete joins the gun on the floor of the smelling crypt. Now he only has his hands to defend himself. The ghoul attacks and he throws a punch. The creature – that looks like a kid, which is pretty disturbing – roars and kicks him in the shins. Dean winces.

“What? Can't fight without your weapons?” the ghoul mocks. “Oh, humans are so weak!” And with that the monster grabs him by the shirt and throws him onto one of the coffins. All air escapes his lungs and he struggles to catch his breath again. Meanwhile, the ghoul is throwing punches, tearing at his clothes, ready to kill him. Dean kicks with his legs, trying to get the thing off of him. That's when he hears the shot.

The ghoul grunts and turns away. Dean looks over to see (Y/N) panting and clutching her gun with both hands. She shoots again but misses. Dean has finally managed to breathe again and staggers to his feet. The ghoul kicks the gun out of her hand. He can hear a bone break. Dean struggles to stand upright when he hears a scream from his brother.

“(Y/N), watch out! Behind you!”

He looks up, jumps forward – but it's too late. She has run directly into another ghoul's arms. It roars, picks her up and slams her hard against the wall.

“NO!”

But then the other ghoul attacks him. He quickly reaches for the machete (Y/N) has dropped and beheads the monster; it's head hasn't reached the ground when he's out the door.

“(Y/N)!”

The ghoul repeatedly throws her against the wall of the crypt and then drags her through the grass. He fumbles for his gun but realizes that it's still inside. A shot. Sam. The ghoul screams. Another shot. It stumbles, then falls – right onto her.

“(Y/N), no...!” Dean stumbles forward, his legs weak, his head spinning, his mouth dry with fear. He can't lose her, he realizes, not again. The past couple of weeks he has been torn between wanting to trust her, to love her again, and his fear and distrust and worry and shock at her sudden appearance. He has been an idiot, he realizes that, too. It doesn't matter that she's in a different body, it doesn't matter that she's been a demon, it doesn't matter what she has done. She has told them everything, he believes her, believes it's really her. She agreed to the cure and she has tried, tried so hard. But he has been a blind idiot. If he has lost her again now... He couldn't bear it.

Sam has followed him and together they push the ghoul's dead body off of hers. She doesn't move. Her face is deathly pale in the moonlight. Her clothes are soaked in blood. There are some nasty cuts and scratches on her face, her neck, her arms, her sides and her wrists. Both arms look like they're broken. Her eyes are closed. Blood is oozing from her wounds and her mouth.

Dean cups her face with his shaking hands.

“(Y/N)? Please, oh please no!”

Sam feels for her pulse. “She's alive. (Y/N)? Can you hear me? Please say something!”

But she doesn't reply. Her eyes flicker and she tries to move. Dean's eyes well up.

“Sweetheart, it's going to be okay. We'll fix you,” he whispers. He holds her hand, tears streaming down his face.

She stirs again, moans. Her eyes open. There is pain in them and fear. She doesn't seem to recognize him.

“Baby, it's alright.” Dean's voice is shaking. “I'm right here, we're gonna get through this.”

_Please hold on_ , he adds in his mind.

Dean can hear Sam talking on the phone. He has no idea who he's talking to but he doesn't care. All he cares about is her, lying on the floor of this horrible graveyard, as white as a sheet, with blood all over her, clearly in pain. And he hopes, pleads, prays that he won't lose her again.

“D-ean,” she suddenly whispers and opens her eyes again. He leans forward, closer to her mouth.

“(Y/N), it's okay, just keep still, we'll get you out of here.” She mustn't talk. She needs to rest. To hold on.

“G-ghouls?” she asks.

“They're all dead, sweetheart. Shh, it's okay.” He gently wipes a tear from her face and brushes his fingers through her entangled hair. His other hand rests lightly on her arm.

“D-ean,” she tries again. Her voice is barely a whisper. She closes her eyes. “D-ean, I l-lo-ve y-you.”

“Oh baby, I love you, too!” When she doesn't reply, doesn't move, he panics. “(Y/N)?! No! No, no, no, no, no! Wake up! Please wake up!” But she doesn't.

“Dean?” Sam is back. “I've called Cas. He's on his way. He'll meet us, so he can fix her. Come on, we need to get her back to the motel, patch her up as much as possible and then we have to get going.”

“Sammy...” Dean looks up to his baby brother, eyes filled with tears. “What if she doesn't make it?”

Sam crouches down next to him. “She will. I'm sure of it. She's strong, she's a fighter. She can do this.”

Dean nods.

“Come on, lets get her to the car.”

–

It's Sam who carries her and it's him who drives. Dean can barely walk. His left ankle hurts badly, might even be broken and he is exhausted and dizzy.

She wakes up in the motel room for a few seconds but passes out again before they have a chance to talk to her.

They stitch up all her wounds, then secure her in the backseat of the Impala, blanket tightly tucked around her. Dean gets an ice pack for his ankle and Sam drives.

They don't talk. Dean nods off a few times but only for a couple of minutes. After three hours they have to stop to get gas. Sam is clearly tired but he insists on driving and even forces Dean to eat something.

A few hours later Cas calls to tell them where he is. It'll still take long until they meet. (Y/N) groans a few times in her sleep. When they stop again Dean puts his hand to her forehead and immediately pulls it back. She's burning up.

When the sun starts to rise Sam parks the car and leans back. He tells Dean to sleep as well but Dean can't, even though he tries. His head is leaning against the window but he's watching her, pale, face still bloody, sweating and occasionally moving a little. There is nothing he can do and he hates himself for it.

_Please, please fight. You need to hold on!_

–

She looks even worse in daylight. Sam has woken up half an hour ago and they're driving again, Dean half-asleep in the passenger seat.

A groan, louder than before comes from the backseat. Dean is wide-awake again and turns around. She's moving now and opens her eyes.

“(Y/N)? Sam, she's awake, stop the car. Hello, sweetheart.”

Dean opens the door and jumps out before the car has fully slowed to a halt. He's in the backseat in no time and Sam gets out of the car, too.

“D-,” she mumbles.

“Shh, don't talk. It's okay. You're safe. Just hold on. We patched you up and we're on the way home. Cas is coming our way, we'll meet him in a few hours, so he can heal you.” Dean puts the blanket around her again. She's still hot and definitely has a fever.

She coughs. “A-a-live?”

Tears find their way into his eyes again. “Yes, baby, of course you are alive!”

“W-w-” She is struggling to speak.

“It's okay. I'm here. Sleep. It will be alright.”

She stares at him for a few seconds, then her eyes shut and she drifts off again.

Dean wants to stay in the backseat with her but Sam won't let him.

“There is not enough space for the two of you when she's lying down. Besides, we're almost there anyway.”

–

Less than four hours later Sam parks in an almost empty parking lot. There is only one other car there, one they both know.

As soon as Castiel sees the Impala pull up, he leaves the car and walks over to them.

“Hello, Dean. Hello, Sam. How is (Y/N) doing?”

“Not too well.” Dean heaves himself out of the car and limps to the backdoor.

“You don't look too well yourself either, Dean. Let me -”

But Dean pushes the angel's hand away. “No, her first!”

“Dean!” Sam says and shakes his head but the older man has already opened the door.

Dean steps aside to let Castiel in, who gently places a hand on her forehead. It only takes about ten seconds, then he pulls his hand back. The stitches are gone, the bandages too. She is still pale but now it looks just like she's sleeping.

“Will she be okay?” Dean asks anxiously.

The angel nods. “Yes. She needs rest and will probably sleep for a while now. Her injuries were quite severe. But she is completely healed now and it's only a matter of time until she wakes up.”

Then he raises his hand and puts two fingers onto Dean's forehead, ignoring the hunter's protest. Seconds later Dean's ankle feels normal again.

–

They only drive to the nearest motel where they instantly fall asleep. Cas agrees to watch over (Y/N), who is still sleeping in the Impala's backseat. There is no use moving her, since it might only wake her up and they'd have to carry her back to the car anyway.

After a couple of hours sleep and some food they are back on the road. The brothers drive in silence, still exhausted and worried.

They arrive at the Bunker at around midnight. Dean parks the Impala in the garage and together they carry (Y/N) inside. Sam doesn't ask why Dean has suggested to put her in his room rather than her own. Castiel is there, too. He agrees to watch the sleeping girl while the boys can take a shower and sleep some more. Before Dean lies down in one of the spare rooms he checks in with the angel again.

“How's she doing?” he asks quietly.

“She is still sleeping and hasn't woken up, yet. But I'm sure she will be alright soon. Now get some rest Dean, you are no help when you're tired.”

“Yeah you're probably right, Cas. Thanks, though, for um...looking after her.”

“It is always a pleasure to help the Winchesters.”

–

Two hours later Dean wakes from a nightmare. He sits up straight in the bed, sweating, his feet entangled in the blanket. He's breathing heavily and it takes him a few seconds to remember that she's safe. He lets himself fall back into the pillows again. In the motel he had been too tired to dream but now that he's a little more rested, terrible dreams have come to haunt him. He hasn't had this kind of nightmares in a while. Sure, bad dreams are basically in the job description but he's used to that. However, a couple of years ago, right after (Y/N)'s death, the nightmares had been really bad, almost unbearable. Not that he had slept much.

And now they're back. Less than a day ago he has almost lost her again and the dreams are back. Dreams of her screaming, dying.

Dean gets up and leaves the room. He knocks at his bedroom door and seconds later it opens.

“Dean,” Castiel says, sounding a little confused. “What are you doing here? You have only been gone for two hours.”

“Yes, I know. I...I couldn't sleep anymore, so I thought I could stay here for a while? You can...I don't know get some fresh air if you want?”

Castiel frowns but doesn't say anything. Instead, he steps aside and lets Dean in.

“She hasn't moved,” is the last thing the angel says before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

When he's alone, Dean walks up to the bed and sits down in the chair next to it. She looks peaceful, her head on the pillow, blanket carefully wrapped around her. Her hair is spread out over the pillow. She is still a little pale but other than that she looks fine. _And she is fine,_ Dean tells himself. _Cas has fixed her_.

Sitting next to her Dean realizes once more how big of an idiot he has been. How could he ever believe he wouldn't love her anymore? Hell, he has missed her more than anything, has tried everything to get her back. But when he saw that demon, this black-eyed monster that had just killed an innocent man, he couldn't believe, didn't _want_ to believe that that was supposed to be her. The (Y/N) he knew would have never done that. And she wouldn't do that now, he knows that. She had been a demon, not herself. He of all people knows what Hell does to you. He himself started torturing people after being tortured for thirty years. He has no idea how long she made it before turning, but it doesn't matter. The only reason he hadn't become a full demon back then was that Cas had saved him in time, pulled him out and fixed him. Just like they have fixed her (though his cure had probably been less painful).

Will she ever be able to forgive him, Dean wonders, for how he has treated her, for not trusting her, for still treating her like a monster even after she had been successfully cured? He doesn't know what he will do if she can't forgive him.

“(Y/N)?” he whispers. “Baby, can you hear me?”

She doesn't respond, doesn't even move. He sighs. It's late. He's tired and he figures, he doesn't need to actually _watch_ her. It will be enough that he's here when she wakes up. For a moment he considers lying down next to her but then he changes his mind. They weren't on the best of terms when they last spoke, really spoke, and he doesn't know how she feels towards him. So he stays in the chair, closes his eyes and eventually drifts off.

–

When Dean wakes it's midday. (Y/N) doesn't look like she has moved but she's breathing steadily and her pulse is calm. Dean stands up and stretches, then leaves the room and goes to the kitchen, where he meets Sam and Cas.

“Is she awake?” his brother asks and looks up from his plate.

Dean pours himself a coffee and sits down at the table. “No, still sleeping.”

“Give her time,” Cas smiles reassuringly, “she is fully healed but her body is still exhausted. She just needs some rest. She should wake up in a day or two.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” Dean mumbles and downs the rest of his coffee. “I'm going back, see if she needs anything.”

But Sam puts a hand on his arm to stop him. “Dean, have you slept?”

“Couple of hours.”

“Have you eaten?”

“Not since yesterday.” His stomach rumbles.

“Dean, we're not starting this again. You've done so much better since she's back, so please don't let yourself fall back into this hole. (Y/N) is safe, she's sleeping and when she wakes up, she knows where to find us.”

Dean wants to protest but then his stomach rumbles again and he sighs. “Alright. But I'll check in on her every hour.”

“Okay,” Sam agrees. “Now eat.” He pushes a plate loaded with bacon and eggs towards Dean. But the hunter doesn't start to eat immediately.

“Cas? Could you maybe bring her some water? For when she wakes up and is too tired to come here.”

“Of course, Dean,” the angel says and leaves the room.

–

Over the next few days Dean is restless, spending a lot of time in the library and just as much in his bedroom. He sleeps there at night and his neck and back hurt terribly from sleeping in the uncomfortable chair. He still doesn't want to lay down next to her, in case she wakes up and has something against it. He eats but only because Sam has allowed him to do so in his room while watching her.

Every few hours Sam brings a new glass of water and the brothers talk to her for a while. (“People in a coma can still hear you when you talk to them.”) She never responds but her cheeks slowly turn rosier and she turns her head a few times and sighs silently.

–

A week passes without any change. Sam leaves the Bunker to get some groceries and also some money. “We're all out, Dean, if you want to eat something tomorrow we need money.”

Dean refuses to leave the Bunker, though, so in the end it's Cas who drives to a bar with Sam in order to steal a few credit cards and maybe win at pool.

When Dean opens the door to his room he immediately recognizes the change. The glass on the nightstand is empty.

“(Y/N)?” he asks but she doesn't respond.

–

The next morning he makes himself some food, puts it on a tray and walks to his room. He almost drops the tray and a big smile appears on his face when he opens the door. “Hey, you're awake!”

He quickly puts the tray onto the nightstand and sits down next to her on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“G-good.” She sits up and takes a sip of the water. “Good, I guess.”

Dean reaches out for her and pulls her into a tight hug, presses her hard against his chest. He is happier than ever before in his life. Finally, finally she's back! Really back! And, he swears to himself, he won't ever let her go again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you again. You were great readers and I hope to see some of you also reading along with the new stuff I post :)


End file.
